A charm lifted
by Chrisy Agitado
Summary: 8th chapter. Snape gets a letter from Lily. Harry Potter gets a new dad, who isn't so new, actually. A Severus who wants his son and be a father, again... Severitus, Sevitus kinda. Protectiv/parental Sev
1. A letter

I do not own them or any money, so please don't sue me.

My mother tongue is german so please forgive me for my spelling and grammer. Blame my teachers, all right?

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Two weeks into the summer holidays, after Harry's second year, Severus Snape received the shock of his life. There weren't many things, which could surprise the potion- master, ex- death- eater and decidedly most evil teacher at Hogwarts. But the sudden appearance of the letter, now lying on his desk, surely had done the trick. 

His name was written on the envelope in a handwriting he would recognize everywhere: Lily Evans's. The women he had once loved with his entire mind. "Aw hell, who am I kidding? I still love her." he thought bitterly. Even after he learned of her marriage with Potter he couldn't cease loving her. That was what hurt most.

Snape walked over to his desk, on unsteady legs and sat down. He put both hands flat on the desk, next to the letter, to stop them from trembling. He made _very_ sure not to touch the yellowish paper. He was too afraid to pick it up, sensing the magic it emitted. After a time, that could have been some minutes as well as some hours, he shook himself, picked it up and slid it open. However bad things had stood between Lily and him, when she died and however hurt he was by her betrayal, he couldn't believe she would intentionally hurt him. At least not physically. He still acted quickly, afraid that his nerves might fail him. He pulled the parchment out and in the very moment he touched it, the world went black and his head hit the desk with a nasty thud.

When he became conscious of his surroundings again, realization hit him, as long forgotten memories came to him: _Lily's smile at their wedding, their friends standing around them cheering and grinning madly. His own joy when he learned that he was going to be a father. His son cradled in his arms, lucking up at him and grasping for his hair curiously. Lily trying to make his boy call him _git_, and collapsing into laugher when the baby pointed at him and said _da-da_. James offering his help, to save them. Lily's face, as he finally agreed and allowed her to put the memory charm on him. _

Still in shock he unfolded the letter and started to read.

"Dear love.

When you touched this parchment the memory charm I put on you wore off. You will remember about me, about our friends and the sacrifices they made on our behalf, but most importantly about our son.

This should find you in the summer before Harry starts school, but I'm not sure if I got the charm right (I can hear you telling me, that I just need to practice more often. Honey, how I miss your nagging…). Anyway: if it's winter and he already is in Hogwarts, I'm sorry you missed his first day. I guess you still teach?

I really hope that Voldemort is gone and both off you are all right, but when you have to read this, I'm most certainly gone. Wherever I am, I'm missing you!

I'm sorry for the hurt, I could see in your eyes when you learned that I had betrayed you with one of your closets friends. Believe me Sev, I'm so sorry.

Please go over to James's or Sirius's, soon. Explain to Harry why we did what we did. What _I_ did. Be his father again- he needs his da-da. He is asking about you, all the time. Right now he is sitting in James's lap saying "Jim - where da-da?" over and over again, frowning. He looks so much like you, when he does that and I just wish you were here to see him. I will end this letter now, because I'm crying too hard to go on.

You know I always loved you, Sev and I hope you can forgive me.

Lilly"

When Snape put the letter down, ever so slowly, he had tears in is eyes. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. His whole body felt numb. His soul was filled with despair and regret. For a long time he didn't move. At least he couldn't control himself any longer and he started shacking. "What have I done?" he asked his empty office with a hoarse voice. Then for the first time in more than a decade Severus Snape, who had seen more evil than most wizards could imagine, cried.

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**What do you think? Please tell me - it will only take a sec. and will make my day. Please puppy eyes**

I know that it is awfull short, but the second chapter is in progress, curently.

This is my first Harry Potter fic. I know this chapter isn't all that great but I think it get's better.


	2. An usefull spell

If I didn't miss something significant, I still do not own them. Or any money, that is.

my mother tongue is german, so blame my teachers, the grammer gnomnes and the spelling fairy. Oh - and my dog ate the dictionary.

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**Mage Ren**: Well thank you. I hope you like how it will go on. Bit more angst ahead, though not really this chap. 

**sophia**: Thank you and I will try.

**Anna Evans**: Well here is more. You decide about the soon. It was _supposed_ to arrive before first year. Obviously Lily didn't get it exactly right. There wouldn't be a point in Sev beating himself up, how he treatened Harry, would there? i just don't like it when everything goes as planed - it hardly ever does in real live ; )

**gizmama**: Uh.. thank you. although I really try to NOT make it a _story like these _; ) at least not exactly - i want to be special!

**Silver** : well thank you anyway. Here is the next and I'm writting N° 3

**Spork or Foon**: Muahahahah I'm differnt! Thank you. That's all I ever wanted. Seriously.dance around the room

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The same evening Harry fell in his bed, exhausted. His aunt and uncle had made him do chores, every single day of his holidays so far. And of course, Dudley and his friends would make a point of adding to his work load. This morning, when he had finished cleaning the floor in the kitchen, they made sure he watched them. Then they walked through the garden several times, so their boots would get muddy. When they walked through the kitchen, smirking at him, he was glad he didn't have his wand with him. He wasn't sure if he would have been able to restrain himself. And then he would have been in _serious_ trouble. As it was, all he did was clenching his fists, gritting his teeth and starting all over again. He was no longer seriously afraid of them, but they still were bad enough as they were. 

He was really done for and considered falling asleep without changing, when he heard his uncle's voice roar: "Boy, get down here! NOW!".

"What have I done this time?" he sighed to himself, but got up anyway. No reason to make it harder than it was. "I coming uncle Vernon." he answered while hurrying down the stairs. He had to suppress a groan, when he felt the stiffness in his back. Scrubbing floors the whole day, wasn't what Madam Pomfrey would consider a health cure.

But all stiffness and pain were forgotten when he saw the reason his uncle had obviously called him: towering in the middle of the living room was… his potion master! Snape simply stood there; face set as always, but the disgust for his surroundings still plainly visible. Harry didn't have a chance to overcome his shock as his uncle was grasping him at the shoulder, whirling him around in order to make the boy face him.

"What do you think you're doing? Inviting your freak- friends to _my_ house!" he yelled.

"He is not…" Harry started, but his uncle was already roaring again: "Don't try to be smart with me, boy. Just look at him!" Vernon gesticulated vaguely in Snape's general direction.

"He is as much a freak as you are, you ungrateful little…"

He couldn't finish his sentence because Snape, who had watched calmly until now, choose this moment to silence the man. Hearing the terrified cries of Harry's aunt and cousin, who stood behind Vernon, Snape tuned to them and with another two flicks of his wand and a muttered _Silencio _no word could be heard from them, either. Ignoring the violently waving of arms, that almost immediately started, he faced the young wizard, who looked at him with big eyes.

"Good evening Harry." he said in a polite manner which indicated he considered the situation perfectly normal.

Harry was so confused, that he didn't even realised, that his loathed teacher had used his first name. "Uh… hello Professor." he answered. Unable to think of something else to say, he added: "Am I in trouble?"

Snape was surprised at this question, but after a moment he realised that the boy was due to react that way. It made him regret the last years, for the about 100th time this evening. He shook his head: "No, you are not. I'm merely here to offer you to come to Hogwarts, for the remainder of the summer. If, however, you would prefer to …"

"No!" Harry interrupted his professor. When he realised what he had done, all the colour drained from his face. Seeing that Snape was not going to explode in his face, he hesitantly continued: "I'm sorry Professor, but…uh… I would like to go to Hogwarts."

Snape merely nodded and said: "In this case I would ask you to pack your things and come here. We will aparate to a point just outside the grounds and then walk up to the castle."

Until now, Harry hadn't realised, that the usual smirk on Snape's face was not there. But now he talked civil to him and even _asked_ for something instead of demanding it! Harry locked at his professor curiously and suddenly a thought came to him, which made him feel unsteady on his legs: what if somebody was pollyjucing him? It had to be. No other way, Snape would be civil and even polite to him. Of course there was an easy way to tell, if he was right. When he, Ron and Hermione had made the potion last year, they had found a spell that made it possible to tell if someone was an impostor or indeed the real person. So he nodded to the man standing in the middle of the Dursley's living room, turned around and darted around his angry relatives, up to his room. There he threw his stuff in his trunk, which took less than four minutes. He grabbed Hedwig's cage and made sure he had his wand hidden up his sleeve. He would play along for the moment and cast the spell as soon as he could. With a last look around he went down the stairs and put the cage and his trunk in the hall and went in the living room, again. The man, who wanted him to believe he was Snape, stood looking out of the window; his aunt, uncle and cousin on the other side of the room lay on the floor, stunned. Obviously their waving had gotten to annoying. The man in front of the window had apparently heard him, because he turned around and gave him a long look, before he smirked: "You need to hide your wand better, if you don't want it to bee seen this easily."

Harry quickly drew his wand and pointed it straight at the other man, who made no move to stop him.

"What do you want?" the boy demanded.

"I assume what you really want to know is: who I am?" the man asked, sneer still in place. But Harry could see sadness in those eyes. That confused him, but he decided to think about that later, as the man continued: "The ministry will not be able to tell, who of us did the magic, so go on." Damn! He hadn't even thought about that.

"The incantation is _Finite persona ludere._"

Harry frowned. He did know this, but how did the man know, what he was thinking? Why was he telling him this? If it was Snape, he was defiantly of his rocker. If it wasn'thim, he didn't seem to mind Harry finding out. Shaking his head, he said the incantation and for a moment green smoke lingered around the other wizard. So, this _was_ Snape. But Harry was still not convinced. What if there was another way to trick him? He had an idea: "What is the first thing you ever said to me?" he asked.

Snape had expected the suspicion but was hurt by this question, anyway. Or rather what the boy would consider the right answer. He couldn't tell him what his real first words had been, so long ago, could he? So he quoted: "Mr. Potter our new celebrity."

Harry was shocked and lowered his wand immediately: "I'm sorry Professor, but you…" He couldn't finish, but it wasn't needed, anyway: Snape just nodded again and then went out in the hall, where he shrunk Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage. They stepped out in the night and took a few steps down the street into a dark driveway.

"Have you ever aparated?" Snape asked the now totally irritated boy. When he shook his head, Snape said: "Hold onto my arm tightly and try to think of Hogwarts, all right?" A shaking nod and merely seconds later a loud crack.

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**What do you think? Please tell me - it will only take a sec. and will make my day. Please puppy eyes**

I wasn't that fond of writting this chapter, because nothing really happened but I'm not sure how far I will go in the next. Suggestions? Seriuosly - if you can come up with something good, fell free to tell me.


	3. A blow, to come

Hyja, I do not own tem or any money, just working out a bit ; )

My mother tongue is German so blame bad world economy for all errors:I can't afford to life somewhere else...

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**Anna Evans**: I'm still in med-school and exams are coming up, so I'll update whenever I'm feed up with learning ; ) Most of my chapt. are quite short, but this one is quite long. I felt I couldn't leave it somewhere in between 

**Chrystal Cove**: gosh, potential? hm... we'll see. thanks, though

**cakcrewchick**: thank you. glad to spreed a bit cheer... ; D

**alaskangirl24**: thank you

**gizmama:** weep I hoped it was allready

**deep**: Thank you, abselutly. Thank you

**Dragonero**: thank you

**Ryn P3**: Thank you, i guess than i must keep writing.

**Morgaine000016:** Danke schön.

**Cameo976**: Uhu, thank you! that was actually usefull. I tried to do a bit more thought in between. tell me if it is better, please. I'm allway greatfull for sugestions.

**robotircruth**: Thank. You. ; D

**dubdigit**: Thank you, you got me thinking. ActuallyI wanted him to storm off, but you're right, that would be a bit common. But he's not crying 'dady' and flinging himself at Snape either. I tried to mix it a bit. See what I came up with and tell me what you think, please. Your review really helped.

**animeegirl088**: thanks

**FireShildSlytherin5**: Gosh. He will be even more in this one, but I'll get there again, all right. puppy eyes

**That took quite a while. You lot really rock. You make my day, you know... !Thanks!**

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When Harry awoke and felt the sun shining in his face, he jerked up instantly. He had overslept and would be running out off time preparing breakfast! Maybe if he just skipped brushing his teeth and… It was then, that he took in his surroundings and realised he was no longer in Private Drive. He was in Hogwarts, in the room he usually shared with three other boys, during the school year. He wondered briefly where they were, before the last of his dizziness disappeared and he remembered the events of the last night: 

He had been ready to fall asleep when Snape - of all people - appeared at his relative's house and offered him to come to Hogwarts. Of course he hadn't thought long about this. Even if the evil potion- master was the only other person in the castle and would force him to chop integrates all day, it would be preferable to his dear family. It was a close call, but he was sure he would be better off in the magical world. After all Hogwarts was home.

But then he had realised how nice Snape was. And that was soooo wrong. Snape and nice just didn't mix. He had cast a spell to test if the wizard in his relative's living- room was indeed an impostor. As it tuned out, it actually _was_ Snape. Hell, he even told him the incantation.

What had confused him even more was that Snape didn't seem angry, but had calmly shrunken Harry's stuff and walked out to find a dark driveway to apparate. He didn't even make a snide remark about him, never having apparated before. He had been nice - again.

When they popped into existence just outside the Hogwart's grounds, Harry had stumbled and was about to fall over, when Snape had caught him and held him while he became steady on his own feed again. Harry had felt he was due at least a sneer, but when he locked up to met Snape's eyes he had been in for another shock. Instead of disdain and impatience he had seen something, he had thought his professor incapable off: real concern. He had asked him if he was alright and when Harry had nodded his head, Snape let go off him. That was, when the final blow came: Snape had smiled at him. Smiled – that man! In two years, nobody Harry knew had ever seen that git smiling. Nobody. In two years. And now he stood in front of Harry and smiled down at his supposedly most loathed student. It was too much – even for the boy-who-lived.

He had spent the rest of the night in a daze.

He followed Snape up to the castle. Arriving in the hall he had been told that he would sleep in his dorm, where the house- elves would have prepared everything. He had moved up to the tower and into his bed, without a single conscious thought.

Now he was lying here, wondering what had happened. He took a sideway glance at his alarm-clock – Snape had asked him to be in his office sometime between nine and ten. He shook his head. Normally it would be: 'Seven o'clock, sharp. Be late and you will be in detention for a week.' or something along those lines. He shrugged and decided he would find out, soon enough.

So he got up, showered and got dressed. When he went down in the common- room, breakfast was already waiting for him. He settled to eat and tried not to think too much while he ate. When he had finished, he leaned back and sighed in content. He was rarely able to eat as much as he liked at the Dursley's and therefore had been really hungry.

Harry considered owling Ron and Hermione, before he realised that Hedwig was not here yet. He was a bit concerned, if she would find him, but not too much. She was a clever bird, after all. Using a school owl never crossed his mind.

When he could no longer avoid it he headed for the dungeons. He was curious what yesterday's events had been about, but he was sure Snape would be back to his usual spiteful self, today. "Maybe he just sniffed one of his potions by accident and the fumes didn't become him." he smiled to himself.

Harry stood in front of Snape's office and debated whether to knock or not. It was some minutes past nine and he was afraid that he would be yelled at for being late, despite his Professor's setting of only a rough time- frame. Down here, in the dark of the dungeons, the idea off potion- fumes wasn't so funny any longer.

"It must have been a potion- accident. He probably won't remember about me, at all. Merlin, he will be really pissed, finding out." Harry thought. He groaned when he realised, that Snape would take him back to the Dursley's for sure. And they had been stunned the previous evening! He would never get out off this one. Maybe if he pleaded with Snape and promised to stay out off the way… No, his Professor was the most loathed one, for a reason. He would never allow Harry to stay. He hadn't seen anybody else on his trip down here, but maybe Professor Dumbledore was around and he…

Harry was interrupted in his - by now - frantic thinking, by the opening of the door he stood in front off. He looked up and expected to see an empty door frame, but came face to face with Snape. Normally the Professor didn't bother to get up, but just used his wand. But off course, normally people tended to knock to announce their presence. Harry positively jumped when said Professor spoke: "Good morning, Harry. Come in."

Harry eyed the Potion- master curiously but obeyed and walked into the room. When the older wizard walked behind his desk and asked Harry to take a seat, he did.

Now they sat in an uncomfortable silence locking at each other but avoiding eye contact. As the silence between them stretched, Harry tried to think off something to say. But nothing that came to his mind, seemed right. He had a feeling something huge was about to happen. He didn't know how he knew it and that confused him even more. But he was sure he was right. When he had decided to ask some stupid question, just to break the silence, Snape spoke up: "Harry, I know this must be very baffling for you, but I'm going to explain now. Know, that you can leave every time you want, but I ask you to hear me out, all right?" The boy nodded hesitantly - that sounded huge.

Snape continued: "This is not easy for me either, but it is partly my fault."

The greasy git was admitting a mistake? He was tempted to check the floor's temperature to see if hell had frozen over. And still there was no disdain in his voice. He hadn't even called him Potter - or brat for that. Harry was really nervous now, but he figured that should Snape really loose it, he had his wand with him. He would defend himself as best as he could and then just run for it. So he nodded again, to show he understood.

Snape eyed him and then sighed: "Very well." He took another deep breath, as to prepare himself for a blow that he knew had to come and began:

"I'm sure some people told you about James and me, hating each other in our school days. Contrary to public believe that isn't true; we were quite good friends actually. Because of the circumstances, however we decided to play it low." Snape stopped as he saw that Harry was about to protest. He silenced him with a risen hand: "Please do not interrupt me, you may ask all your questions when I'm finished, but I'm about to tell you things you will find even harder to believe and if you ask me a question about everyone, we might be here until tomorrow morning." Harry hesitantly nodded. He had really no idea, where this was going, but the feeling that this would be getting huge, was stronger than before. But now he had a feeling that he needed to hear Snape out, as well.

"My father wanted me to join the Dark Lord and surely would not have approved of a friendship with a Gryffindor. I knew better, than to become cross with my father… Let's say he knew about some… _intense_... past times and did not hesitate to use them. So James and sometimes some of his friends as well, and I meet secretly. We would talk for hours in the library or sit under his invisibility cloak and play chess." Snape inwardly chuckled at Harry's shock that he knew about the cloak.

"In was during my fifth year that I noticed your mother. She wasn't friends with James, but I spotted her yelling at him about something or the other. As the year went on, I noticed she did that quite a lot. During my sixth year I noticed jet another thing: I had fallen in love with her."

Snape had said the last part to his desk. Now he looked up, to see Harry's reaction. The boy locked at him with eyes wide in shock and mouth hanging open.

"Well, at least he is not storming out or calling me a liar." he thought. Harry was indeed shocked: Snape had had a crush on his mom! No, not a crush - love. What the hell! But of course she married James, so maybe this was the reason for Snape hating his dad. But no, the hate was supposed to be a fake. Boy; that was turning out to be weird morning. He tried to listen as Snape continued:

"I was too afraid to ask her out. Afraid off my father and afraid off her rejection. Well, as it tuned out, I did not have to ask her. James and I were hexing each other in the floor and she stepped between us. James's hex was rather nasty and both your mom and I landed in the hospital wing. There she told me, that she had tried to help me, because she did not think I was as bad as I wanted to appear and that she would like to get to know me better. I felt nonplussed to say the least and of course I told her how I felt, then. She agreed to meet me in secret, in order not to put either of us into danger. After all she was what my father called a mudblood. During winter break, a year later, I asked her to marry me and she agreed."

Snape held his breath, sure that the younger wizard would start yelling at him, any moment. After some moments off silence, however, he locked at his son. Harry was pale and obviously stunned, but made no sings of wanting to leave or protest. He was truly struck dumb: his mother and Snape were engaged? That was indeed unbelievable. But somehow, he believed it, nevertheless. And he had a felling more was coming: his mom and Snape – it was grand, but still not huge. So he motioned for the Potion- master to continue.

"I had known for a long time, that James was in love with one off his friends, but now more and more people suspected it." Snape stopped again and tried to build up enough courage to tell the rest. Everything would be going down from here, there would be no way back. But the boy had a right to know, and he had a right to tell.

"Because this friend of James was a male, it wasn't exactly save to let this information become public knowledge. The ministry these days was very… one could call it _conservative. _And them knowing he preferred his own gender wouldn't have gone well with his career-plans. So we agreed that Lily and he would start a fake relationship. It was a win-win situation for all off us. Apart from James's friend: he was not very enthusiastic, but eventually he gave in. Well, to make a long story short: Lily and I married and she got pregnant. Only few people knew that James was not the real father and _their_ marriage was a fake one. When our baby was little over a year old, Dumbledore asked me to become a spy for a group that was fighting against the Dark Lord. After much persuasion I reluctantly agreed, but we decided that a memory charm had to be cast on me, so not to put Lily and our child in danger. Lily would remove the charm after two years or before, if the war had ended. The charm was cast and all I knew was that the woman, who had agreed to marry me, had chosen one of my closets friends over me. Angry, disappointed and hurt, I joined the Dark Lord. For some days I did not knew what to think and even gave him some information I should not have. Some weeks later James and your mother were dead.

Yesterday I received a letter from your mother, which lifted the memory charm, I was under, when I touched it. It must have been a back-up plan off her." Snape finished, leaned back and sighed.

There, he told everything, now it was the boy's time to rage. As a precaution he had put all dangerous potions and ingredients away. He would take everything and try to be reasonable later. He had a feeling that each and everything his son would yell at him and do to him would be well earned. He didn't think Harry would believe him and if he did, things would be even worse. He had seen how the boy lived at his relative's house. Hell, his son had lived without parents for more than ten years. Plus he himself had treated him like dirt, sensing the pain of Lily's betrayal every time he had laid eyes on the Gryffindor. But he was more than willing to allow Harry to take his anger out on him. He didn't want his own son's hate, but it would be an appropriate punishment for what he had done.

Harry however, didn't feel angry in the least. Just confused and frightened. This was huge, indeed. Huge as in 'my whole life has been a lie'. He very much wanted to flee from the office, but he wouldn't. He _was_ a Gryffindor after all. And he refused to jump to conclusions, that he would fell silly for later. He had to be missing something. He just had to. So he asked: "Can I see the letter? … Sir?" Snape seemed surprised but took the parchment out of a drawer and gave it to him. Harry read it and almost keeled over. He gave it back with shaking hands and stared at Snape. So this man really was his father. And his mom and he had been in love and married. 'Merlin, is it possible to die from shock?' he mused. The greasy git was his father. The very person that went out off his way to make his own live miserable. The very person that treated him with nothing but disapproval, disdain and scorn. His father!

This was much, but he desperately tried not to let it become too much. There were question to be asked. He gave himself a shake and began: "So, both of you were in love with each other? Nobody was…forced, into this?" Snape felt hurt at this question but he understood where Harry was coming from. He really hadn't given any evidence, hat he could be lovable, in the last two years and so he nodded and feeling this was not enough added: "I do not know, what your mother saw in me, but I couldn't have hurt her, even if I had wanted. So yes, we both loved each other and no, I did not force her."

Harry nodded absently, like he really didn't expect it. Snape was a sneaky bastard, but the letter was written by a person deeply in love. He took a deep breath and asked:

"This Sirius - he was dad's … James's friend?" Snape nodded.

"Where is he, now?"

The older wizard had been hoping that this wouldn't come, but he had promised to answer all questions, the boy might have. "He is alive, but in prison." Harry had thought that he couldn't become more confused, but saw himself proven wrong. Someone, his mom had trusted enough to let the person raise him, was in prison? This was bloody brilliant. If this was going on like that, then he really had to question his mom's sanity. He shook his head, as if to clear it, from to many thoughts.

"Who else knows about this?"

"Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore."

"So why didn't one of them broke the memory charm? They've seen how you… how we…behaved around each other!" he asked heated. Plus, they knew how he hated the Dursleys and everyone was better than them. But Snape was shaking his head sadly: "They couldn't. The charm could only be lifted by the caster." And thank Merlin, Lily thought of the possibility of her death or he might never had remembered, he added to himself.

'Well that makes sense.' Harry mused, 'I don't think I would have believed them, if they would have told me, anyway.' And it couldn't be true! He jerked upward in his chair and accused his Professor: "How come, that everybody is telling me, I look so much like James Potter, then!" 'HA! Explain this one!' he thought. But the triumph faded quickly, when he saw the older man eyeing him, with an unbelieving gaze.

"Because everybody thinks you are his son and is searching for resemblances to him, of course. He messed his hair up on purpose – you don't need to do that. Have you ever wondered why I keep my hair like that?" Snape finally smirked. But it was without the usual… whatever it was. "As to my nose: break it several times and everybody's will look like mine."

Harry had to roll his eyes, in spite of his bewilderment: that man had an answer to every question, damnit! But _one_ question _was_ unanswered. Because he had been too afraid to ask. But he couldn't put it off forever, so he steeled himself and asked: "What does that mean for us? Will we never mention it again? Do you expect me to hug you and be happy, like you'd been around all the time?"

The Potion- master had expected this one; in the unlikely case Harry stayed around long enough to ask it. He was well aware that this was most likely the trickiest part of the conversation. He hadn't really needed to think about it, due to the fact that he knew perfectly knew what he wanted: his son. But he couldn't expect Harry to be as sure. Merlin, the boy probably didn't know his own name, right now. So, he cautiously answered: "I would like to get to know you, again. I know it is hard to believe for you, that I indeed care about you. But I do." When he had finished he held his breath, waiting for his son's answer, afraid of rejection, but expecting it nevertheless.

Harry sat in silence, for what had to be several minutes, obviously deep in thought. He unconsciously gnawed his bottom lip and looked at his Professor's desk. He finally locked up and into the eyes of his father: "I always wished for parents; I even wrote a letter to Santa Claus, once." A sad smile appeared at his lips as he remembered how Dudley had laughed at him, when he found the letter. Vernon had yelled at him, what an ungrateful whelp he was.

"I want to give it a try, I think. But there is a lot I need to think about." Snape allowed himself to breath, again. Merlin, he wanted to get to know him! He had expected everything from rejection accompanied by name- calling to flat-out denial, but this… Would he have believed in God, he would have fallen to his knees right there, sending him a prayer of thanks. He almost did it, anyway.

Harry spoke again: "I don't even know what to call you. 'Father' is stupid and 'dad' would fell weird. And I can't go around calling you 'Professor Snape',

can I?"

"What about 'Severus'?"

Harry thought and then shyly smiled: "All right, that might do. Severus."

The other man smiled a soft smile as well and said. "Thank you, for trying. That's all I can ask you and more than I expected."

* * *

**What do you think? Please tell me - it will only take a sec. and will make my day. Please puppy eyes**

Iknow Snape is a real softy and way OOC in this chapt., but I tried to make it up by using a very 'snapish' way of talking. i just can't see him scowling and snapping at his long-lost son, can you? I'll try to make it up in later chapters, all right?

**Well, here something that you might want to know:**

Q: Why does hary not think off _Imperius_?

A: he doesn't know about this certain pleasure right now, does he? Besides Snape is a powerfull wizard and if Harry can throw it off, surely Snape can, as well.


	4. Critical thinking

I own neither them, any money or a dictionary at that. Don't sue me, please. If you do, I'll have to leave the country and live in Cost Rica for the rest of my life. Please don't do this to me, all right?

My mother tongue is German and I don't have a Beta (if you fell up to it, mail me), so either come to terms with my mistakes or send me a spell-check software ; D

**I'm really sorry for the long wait**, but I had end of the year exams, and I figured they were something of a prioraty. Sorry.

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**Big E 3 I love nascar**: Yes, it is still before POA, and I don't now waht you mean (there are kids reading this, but the raiting might go up, if that helps you ; D) As for the rest: you'll have to wait and see, won't you? cruel me

**FirChildSlytherinFive**: Why should he be resorted? Thought I explained, that he is still himself. No appearnce charms or newly dicovered powers (so far). Sorry to disapoint you. Hope you like it anyway´

**Umber:** Sorry 'bout that one

**AllyKat1234:** Wanted to, but couldn't send you a message?

**Jemma Blackwell**: Thank you! I instantly changed the word. I have no idea where this story is going at all. sugestions?

**Heather:** wow. you are the first to actually thank ME for writting. You made my day!

**Morgain0000016**: well, thank you. good, someone agrees.

**dubdigit:** Uhhu. yeah there will definatly misunderstandings, but to be honest: i do not plan on a big row or something like that in near future. They are both to glad to have each other. in their own way of course. I hope you keep reviewing

**serenity 1910:** Thank you

**Skimmie**: here you go

**Cakcrewchick:** I don't care when you do review, as long as you do at all.You'll find about some of your questions. As for the father/son activities: what would that be? Honestly I'm clueless: I'M a girl and grew up without a father ; D

* * *

After the conversation, Harry went out of the castle and wandered the grounds pondering his new knowledge. He finally sat by the lake and starred out at the still water. Snape…his father. Merlin, that was more than huge – that was life-altering! He hadn't written to Ron or Hermione yet and felt slightly guilty, but then he had a feeling, that he should tell them face to face. He was sure they would have a lot of questions and he wasn't certain if would be able to answer them already. He had thought about visiting Hagrid, but when he went down to see him, the hut had been empty. Well, obviously even groundskeepers took holidays.

Harry had given the letter a lot of thought and had finally come to the conclusion that it was indeed genuine. That meant that his mother had been in love with Snape. He speculated about love portions, but surely Lily's friends would have noticed. And accepting that they had been in love with each other and even been married, meant to accept that Severus Snape – evil portion master and greasy git - was his father. Well, judging the way he had behaved the last 16 hours he really cared about him. Plus, he had saved him from breaking his neck in his first year, during Quidditch. Taking this into credit, he confirmed his decision from earlier this morning: he would give it a try. In the best case he'd get a family at last and in the worst case Snape and he would be distant and mean to each other. The last option wouldn't be really new and at least this time he would know what it was about. So… only room for improvement.

Having decided what he wanted, he sighed and went for castle to see if Hedwig had arrived yet.

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

When Harry left, all Snape could do was to lean back and try not to be overwhelmed by relief and… happiness? He rolled his eyes at himself: '_Merlin, if these blasted dunderheads would see me now_.' He really had to come to grips with this situation. But then he had never seemed to be able to exert his normal level of self- control whenever his son was concerned. And right now he had the guilt for his previous behaviour and neglect added to his trouble. He would have to talk to Albus when he got back and inform him, that the boy wouldn't have to go back to these 'relatives' of his. And he would have a word with him, about letting Harry stay there in the first place. But this conversation would have to wait. Albus wasn't due back for at least another month. Minerva would come back before that, but until then the castle was empty.

Snape wondered if he should offer Harry to stay in his rooms. He didn't want to do anything to make the boy feel pushed or that would scare him away. On the other hand it would be nice to have him around. '_And'_ he couldn't help to think, '_a bit symbolic, as well._' But what if it was more of a father-son relationship that his son wanted at the moment? How much, was he willing to commit to? What would happen when school started - they couldn't exactly tell anyone? It wouldn't be save for either of them. And as his father it was more than likely that he would have to punish Harry for some mischief sooner or later. There was no doubt, that something would occur – trouble always seemed to find the young wizard. And he didn't bother too much to avoid it, either. But how would his son react to getting grounded?

Snape sighed deeply and decided that he would simply ask Harry if he would like to stay with him and make it clear that it was an offer, he was free to decline. They would have to talk about other things as well, but there would be time for that. As for the grounding… he would wait and see how things between them would develop.

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

They had agreed to meet again for dinner and so Harry paced up and down in a cool dungeon hall. One reason was the cold, the other, more important one, he didn't want to acknowledge: he was afraid all had been a cruel joke. He had already knocked twice but had received no answer, although it was already seven minutes past the usual Hogwarts dinnertime. 'Maybe he simply eats later.' he thought.

'_And why isn't he answering the door then?'_ a cruel voice in the back of his mind inquired.

'Maybe he is stuck with some experimental portion that has to be stirred right now or something.' he insisted.

'_Or maybe he is laughing his ass off at your expense?'_ the voice suggested.

'No, he is not! He is my father and he cares about me.' he retorted angrily.

'_Sure. And will he read a story to you tonight, as well?' _

"Merlin, shut up!" he snapped, hearing the strain in these words.

"I wasn't aware that my constant babbling is that insufferable for you."

Harry whirled around and saw that Snape had strolled up to him and was eyeing him with a smirk on his face. But again, it was not an unfriendly look. Harry relaxed visibly, which mad him smile at himself: no 24 hours ago, the look of this man would have made him tense if not causing him to jump. He had assumed that it would take him at least some months before he would be able to feel comfortable in the presence of his father, but apparently he had been wrong. He seemed to have inherited the sense of time from his mother.

"I was just talking to myself." Harry explained while blushing slightly, before adding: "I forgot to ask you, where we wanted to meet and I assumed you would be here."

Snape raised an eyebrow at the boy and motioned for him to follow. As they went up the stairs and across the hall he said: "Actually, I was in my quarters. I think the forgetting of setting a place to meet is understandable, taking the… revelations, of this morning into credit."

Harry nodded reassured; obviously Snape hadn't thought about it either. They had passed the doors to the great hall and at a loss where they were headed he asked, where they would eat.

Severus glanced down at him and answered: "I thought we could eat in the kitchens."

Harry nodded and followed the older wizard. Soon enough they were seated at a wooded table, the delicious Hogwarts food in front of them. Harry had called a house elf for his lunch and had eaten enough to fill two. Nevertheless he was already very hungry again. The two weeks he had spent with his relatives would guarantee his appetite for the next days. When he finally had enough, he pushed his plate away and leaned back. For the fist time since they had sat down, Harry faced his father. Severus had a look of amusement mixed with concern directed at him and Harry blushed again.

"Petunia?" was all, Snape said. The boy merely nodded and locked away. The older wizard decided to let it go for now and cleared his throat to let his son know it. When Harry locked back at him he asked as gently as he could: "I hope you haven't written to your friends, already?"

"Why shouldn't I? They _are_ my friends and I trust them. They will not tell anybody!" Harry immediately defended them.

Again Severus had to smile at the boy's comprehension. Then his face became serious again – this was too important to take lightly: "I know you trust them and you are sure that they will not tell." he paused before continuing, "But have you thought about torture or simply talking in their sleep? The dark lord may not have retuned yet, but there is no doubt that he will attempt to." He waited while Harry struggled to accept the truth.

"So I can't tell them? I can't keep something like this from them - they are my friends." the boy stated, making a last attempt to make out his case. But Severus could see that the young wizard understood. He felt bad for making his son lie to his friends, but he knew he would fell even worse if something happened to him. And this information was just too critical to let the wrong people know.

He gave a mental sigh and continued: "You are aware that we have to behave like we did before, don't you?"

Harry tilted his head- he could have sworn that Snape sounded anxious. '_Will the wonders ever cease_?' he thought. Aloud he said: "Yeah, I realised that much." He paused before allowing himself a hesitant but nevertheless mischievous grin: "It even might be fun…"

Severus gazed at him suspiciously and decided to answer in a grave voice, which made the colour drain from Harry's face: "Indeed, it might." Then he let the shadow of a smile appear on his face, to let his son know he wasn't in trouble. Well, at least not right now. No one challenged Severus Snape and got away with it…

At the moment, there were more urgent things to discuss: "I will have to talk to Albus, but I don't see a problem, with you spending all your holidays with me if you want to. You'd just have to floo back to London and board the train, to make everything appear normal." Snape sighed again. He had to watch this or it would become a habit. "Of course you can go back to your relatives every time you should wish to do so."

Severus was relived when Harry immediately shook his head: "I will stay here."

Draining strength from this vehemence Snape decided to risk it: "That is agreeable. In fact I wanted to offer you a room in my quarters."

When he saw the young wizard's eyes go big and his mouth fall open, he instantly regretted saying anything. It was obviously too much too soon. He could have kicked his arse but instead tried to think of a way to restrict the damage. But before he could say anymore, Harry finally managed to speak: "My _own_ room?"

Severus nodded cautiously, while a tiny voice in his head – not unlike the one, that had pestered Harry earlier, although much more optimistic - tried to tell him, that the boy wasn't angry, but pleased.

When Harry confirmed this by saying earnestly: "That would be great. Thank you." ,he let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding.

They continued to talk about save subjects like Quidditch and school and before they realised it, they had spend two hours getting to know each other with only a minimum of awkward moments.

* * *

**If you want me to go on, you know what you have to do. I mean it.**

Puh, sorry again for taking so long. I think Snape is a bit more in character in this one, don't you?

I know, what I want to happen in he next chapter, and something behind that, but then I'm absulutely clueless. Can you see where this is going? If you have an idea, then please tell me. Seriously!


	5. Trick or treat in the summer

I'm soooo sorry for the long wait, but I really had no time to write anything for a while. Hope you like it, anyway.

My mother tongue is german, so chase the spelling fairy and not me. I do not own (wanna donate?).

* * *

**Merlin Halliwell:**uh.. sorry? thanks 

**Christal Snape**: uh?

**skimmie**: here it is

**Umber:** Thankie

**Firechildslytherin5**: Na.. no sorting, but I'll make sure to point out how great they are sometime...

**sevschoosen1:** thanks

**Morgaine00001:** here it is. glad you like it

**intergalactic smat arse**: well... here it is... do your worst ; )

**Jemma Blackwell**: thank you! I really got some good ideas (or at least I think so) from your suggestions. I'll use them in next chapters)

**dubdigit**: i'll use that one, although slitly different and not in this chap. remember sev is afraid when he'll have to grouns harry...?

**neko-youkia**: glad you like it

**roburuth:** hope you're not bored yet...

**serenity:** here we go

**slytherin angel44**: and daddy is about to behav daddy-like...

* * *

When Snape had Harry shown his new room, they smartened it up together. Harry was happy to be allowed to use magic again and his father simply enjoyed his son's joy. Although they disagreed about the colour schemes, all was done rather quickly and Harry went to bed merrily. He lay awake for a long time and thought about the changes in the last days: His most hated teacher was his father, he had his own room in said teacher's quarters and he was happy about it. Ron would probably keel over in shock, if he knew that the potion master's quarters weren't in the dungeons. In fact, Harry was able to see the lake from his room. 

Harry and Snape felt, that it became easier for them to spend time together, with each passing day.

Snape's motivations were of course his regained memories combined with his guilt. He just couldn't go on and pretend nothing had happened. He was used to not getting what he wanted, but in this case he was determined to have his way. To have his son. And if it was necessary to put his pride aside, he would do it. As they spend their time together Snape realised that he had been mistaken. The boy's relatives didn't spoil him and although the young wizard was like James Potter in a lot of ways, Harry was indeed his father's son. Even if that wouldn't be so; remembering James, Snape had realised that his late friend's habits did have their upsides. That didn't stood in the way of annoying the hell out of his surroundings.

Snape was a bit disappointed that Harry was indeed not very able at potions. He fared fairly better, when he was left alone, but he would defiantly never be a potions- master. He learned however, that his son excelled in Defence against the dark arts. And given his past, that was properly more appropriate. Snape found that he enjoyed teaching Harry, when he was actually making some progress. And teaching his son spells, jinxes, shields and curses went as god as it could.

Harry's motivation was more straightforward. He wanted to have a family. If this family consisted of his potion master – so bee it. Snape seemed to regret how he had threatened him so far and was making an effort to get to know him. That was enough for Harry, as it was more than most people had ever bothered to do. Around Snape he had never been the boy-who-so-conveniently-lived. Now that the man was actually nice to him…it was more than he could have asked for.

In the first days Harry helped Severus to brew some potions for the stock of the hospital wing. The potion- master seemed to have realised that his constant hovering wasn't exactly helping, for he left Harry mostly alone. Not that it made _much_ difference.

Further in the week Severus found Harry in the library practicing some spells. He offered to help and the next time one of them noticed the time, they were late for dinner, Harry had learned a lot of new spells and managed to impress his father.

So they spend the days alone and together. Snape brewed his potions with Harry just watching or reading. Harry's father taught him more spells and he was eager to practise. They talked, got to know each other and became comfortable around each other. Harry caught himself several times referring to his father as such in his thoughts. He was however unwilling to _address_ him as such. He felt, it wasn't the time yet.

One morning when they walked back from the library they spotted Professor McGonagall who hadn't seen them yet, heading towards the stairs. Harry and Severus had stopped in front of the great hall.

With a wide grin Harry locked up to his father and whispered: "Can we play a trick on her?"

"You want me to play a 'trick' on a fellow staff- member?" Snape asked, feigning shock.

During the time they had spend together Harry had learned that his father had indeed a sense of humour and he was able to tell, that he was not in trouble. So he just answered: "Yeah."

Severus's lips tilted upwards before he got them under control again and replied in an icy voice: "Mr. Potter! That is ridiculous."

Harry seemed to be furious instantly: "So what if it is?" he shouted back.

They both heard McGonagall walking briskly up to them.

'Well, if we have to keep up this act during school, we might as well practise it now' Harry thought and was about to yell gain when Snape, obviously thinking along the same line, roared:

"Potter, you will not speak to me like this!"

"Well, I believe I just did!"

Severus whipped out his wand and his face became impassive again. In a deadly voice that would have made Dumbledore look for means of escape, he demanded: "You will apologise Potter. Then you might get away with a month worth of detentions."

Harry locked grim but set, when he slowly drew his wand and pointed it in Snape's general direction: "No."

They both took a step backwards when…EXPELIARMUS!... and their wands flew out of their hands. With a last quick glance at each other, to make sure the spark of amusement was still in the other's eyes; both wizards turned around and said: "Professor!" "Minerva!" with faked surprise.

Said witch looked ready to faint when she turned to her fellow teacher: "I can't believe you were about to duel with a student, Severus!" Given the man no chance to answer she turned to Harry: "Mr. Potter you can't possibly be in trouble already. School hasn't even started yet. What are you doing here anyway?"

By now Harry could hardly hold back laughter and he glanced at Severus, who noticed this and nodded slightly. The younger wizard tuned back to his head of house and said: "Well Professor... I'm staying with my father."

This explanation was greeted with big eyes in which suddenly understanding dawned: "I take it a certain memory- charm wore off?" she asked.

Father and son nodded and Harry apologised: "Sorry Professor, but I couldn't resist the temptation."

"That is quite all right, Mr. Po…Harry. Seeing Severus act like this was certainly worth the shock. However, the headmaster arrives tomorrow and until then, I will see you at dinner. Your wands gentleman."

Severus didn't know about his son, but he felt like he had been scolded by a not to strict parent. Minerva tended to have that effect on him. Father and son watched McGonagall walk up the staircase before heading to the dungeons themselves.

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What do you think? I know Snape is still OOC but I hope it was better then the last chapters. I think next school will start again and we'll have our snarky git back. 

**Should I continue? I'm not sure, so please tell me.**


	6. Two reasons

I'm really sorry for the loooooooooooong wait, but there wasn't really time to write anything. And when there was, I was puking (every morning!). I hope I haven't lost all of you and that there are some people left, who want to read this.

Not betaed, but I went over all chapters again and made some minor changes. Mostly grammer and wording.

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**Jemma Blackwell** Sorry, no school yet, but I think the next chapt. will change that.

**dubdiget** Minerva in Severus mind, uh?

**Adriana Lilian Potter** thanks

**Suika Severin** I try

**FireCHildSlytherin5** Sorry for the long wait

**Lady solaris** I hope I can keep that up

**Maorgaine00016 ** Sorry, but here it is

**AllyKat ** Care for the honour?

**Debsthesnapefan** thanks

**jenawolf30 ** thanks, please keep revieving

**snowlight144** thanks

**momocolady** hy, thanks, by ; )

**barbaratsku ** uh. possibility sounds so negative...

**absinthe ** got up yet? ; )

**Slytherinangel44 ** thanks.thanks.here it is

**serpent91 ** thanks

**horsegirl93 ** thanks

**animegurl ** uh-uh

**Tazgirl1822 ** I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will.

**Minismyangel** Thanks. Sure.

* * *

The next evening found Severus Snape, resident potion- master and his son Harry Potter in said potion- master's living room, where they sat at opposite sides of an old but cozy couch. Severus was going over his lesson plans for the upcoming year and Harry was reading a book about muggles, which he had discovered in his father's library. He found the explanations, which where full off generalisations and exaggerations, most amusing. Every now and then he couldn't suppress a quit chuckle. Each and every time Severus would look up from his work and try to give Harry a stare. All he would manage however was a reproachful shake of the head.

He had been there until Harry first birthday, but not for the 11 years after that. The last two, he had gone out off his way to make the boy miserable. So it was his own fault, if he couldn't even bring himself to _fake_ a glare. The truth was, that he was happy that after all he had to endure from his' relatives '; his son was able to feel that much joy from a simple muggle- studies book.

The older wizard gave up trying to look displeased and went to continue with his work, when he was interrupted again by a knock. Frowning slightly, he picked up his wand from the table in front of them and waved the door open, without checking who was there. "Albus.", he explained with a sideway glance at Harry. It was way past dinnertime and when the headmaster hadn't arrived to join them for the meal, he hadn't expected his old teacher to turn up before breakfast the next morning.

The door opened and Albus Dumbledore stepped in, his eyes sparkling and a wide grin prominent on his face. "Harry, Severus! About time!" he exclaimed happily. He reached out towards Severus, like he was about to hug him. However much Severus shared Albus's joy, there was no way to let himself get embraced like that. He jumped up and with a wide gesture that had the additional benefit of holding the headmaster at a save distance, offered him a seat at an armchair that half faced the couch. That achieved, he dropped back on his place at the couch.

Dumbledore's eye- twinkling became even more sparkling, like he knew exactly what his potions- master had done and was amused by it. He shifted his attention to Harry, who had lowered his book at the visitor's entrance and had followed the evolving spectacle with a look of amusement plainly visible. "I take it you are well?" the headmaster asked.

"Quite so. Thank you." answered Harry politely, which caused Dumbledore to chuckle; the reason ominous to Harry and Severus.

"So, Albus. Why do you have to pester us, that late?" grumbled the potion master.

"Oh, I merely wanted to see if you two are getting along and no harm has come to any of you…" chortled Albus with a wink towards Harry.

"Well obviously we do, as both of us have all required extremities attached, don't we?"

"Of course, of course." He became serious: "I also wanted to apologize for all the time that is lost to the two of you. If I could have done anything about it, I would have. If Harry's stay at his aunt and uncle's house could have been avoided, I would have arranged for that as well, of course."

At these words, Harry's expression hardened and a cold furry appeared in his eyes that betrayed is still relaxed posture. It was gone before either of the adults, who had looked at each other, turned to him. In fact Severus was still looking Albus in the eye and said: "We will talk about that." It was impossible to tell, if it was a promise or a threat. It most certainly wasn't a request. Oddly enough, that made Harry fell better.

The headmaster was not offended or if he was, didn't show it. He just nodded and repeated in an earnest voice: "Of course, of course." Then he shifted his gaze between father and son. Clearly uncomfortable he continued: "Severus, I take it that you have told Harry that your true relationship can not be made public knowledge at this point?" When the potion master nodded, Dumbledore gave a sigh and carried on: "Have you informed him, as to the reason why not?"

Surprised Harry looked at the headmaster and then at Severus. He had been under impression, that it wouldn't be appropriate for a member of the staff to teach his own child. And of course the Prophet would start a circus, which would raise the dead if they ever found out that the Boy-who-lived had a father- who- lived. But neither reason would warrant the grave expressions on his teachers' faces.

"I see. Then I will leave you to it." Dumbledore said and rose. Snape shoot him a glare so intense, that it made the older wizard say: "He has to know, Severus." in an apologetic voice. He bid them good night and left. The potion master didn't even answer.

Harry however eyed his father with a mixed expression of curiosity and annoyance. But he followed his lead and remained silent.

After several long minutes Severus hadn't said anything, but was glareing at the small table like it was the cause of all the pain and misery in the world. He wasn't lost for words and he did know exactly what the old fool had been referring too. But still… the things he now had to tell… He had known all the time that these reasons had to be revealed someday, but he had been foolish enough to believe that there was time. Which of course wasn't. There hardly ever was. Just like there hadn't been enough time for his son to get used to having him as a father. And now he would scare him away for sure. But Albus was right: Harry had to know.

With a grim expression on his face, he raised his head and looked into his son's eyes: "There are two reasons your true parentage can not be revealed." Here he paused and for the second time in only some mere weeks he felt like the things he was about to say would change his whole future. This time he resisted the temptation to sigh and continued in a voice that Harry hardly recognised: "When the Dark Lord returns, I will return to his ranks as a spy." With a clipped voice and hatred in his eyes he added: "And finally I will avenge Lilly."

Until this last sentence Harry had been ready to protest. Somebody else could spy on Voldemort. Surely his father must have done enough? He had lost his family once, there wasn't need for an repetition. But avenging his mother? That he could understand and was hard pressed to find an argument against that. A thought came to his mind and hesitantly he asked: "You would have done that anyway? Even though you believed, she had betrayed you?" He was sure he was only seconds away from seeing an outburst, Severus normally reserved for the poor student who happened to melt the fist cauldron of the year.

Not for the first and most likely not for the last time Harry was surprised, when his anxious question was answered with a hint of amusement in the potion master's voice: "Of course. I loved her."

At this, Harry almost smiled himself. "What's the second reason?"

Immediately all signs of amusement left Snape's face. He slowly rolled up his sleeve and showing Harry the black tattoo on his forearm said: "For however short the time: I was the Dark Lord's follower and consequently marked as such. Would I become know as your father, everybody would be after you. As you have noticed, rumours travel fast in the wizarding world."

Now it was Severus turn to be surprised: "I don't care what other people think about you or me." was all Harry had to say on the subject. Obviously the boy didn't understand a thing he had said and so he replied: "I do."

Still Harry just looked at him with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Merlin, he looked so much like his mother when he did that. Lilly. Severus steeled himself and added in a cold voice: "You don't know what I have done."

Harry merely raised his eyebrows: "Tell me."

Merlin, was this boy stubborn. Persistent, Lilly had called it and laughed at him. But he had started it and now he had to see this through. Keeping his face and voice clear off every emotion he said: "I killed you mother."

This time Harry's expression didn't even change. He just explained in a calm voice: "You're not a murderer."

Severus could just stare at him in amazement: what had he done to warrant such faith? And in such a short time. Bewildered he shook his head and told Harry about the night he had overheard a prophecy and the consequences that yielded from this. There… he had just driven his son away.

"It wasn't your fault. It was a person you could have been but aren't."

Severus's head snapped up and he starred at his son in shock. Didn't he understand what he had said? He killed the boy's mother. And yet his son was calmly sitting at the same couch as him, with a patient look on his face. But what could one misunderstand about these ugly but frankly speaking pure and simple facts? Harry wasn't stupid and so the potion master had to start to believe, that he was the only one present blaming him for Lilly's death. In all the years it had never occurred to him that anybody who knew the facts could not hold him responsible. He always did himself. Of course Albus had argued with him. But over the years even the old wizard had seemingly given up and his occasional attempts could be called half- hearted at best.

But hearing his son, _Lilly's_ son, faithfully exclaiming his innocence… Of course he would never be able to forgive himself for his actions, but having Harry do it… Severus Snape was lost for words - again. He just sat there and stared at his son in disbelieve until Harry got up and hugged his father.

* * *

Thank you, if you made it 'till here. I don't know, how long the next chapt. will take, but I try to be a bit faster ; )

**Would you do me a last favour: review!**


	7. A father, past and present

I know this chapter took ages, but I had a lot on my mind this last year. Getting a beautiful baby boy was just one of them. I would like to thank all the reviewers who kind of forced me to go on. I really appreciate that!

Not English. No money. Just fun. Hope you like it.

* * *

**Yasmine Lupin**: Not so many surprises in that one, but I got a few ideas, thank you!

**alwaysariana:** hopefull they are a bit less ooc in this one.

**Serpent91**: thank you

**Firechildslytherin**: AngstSev. Cute ehh?

**Dalou28**: Well sorrry about soon, but here is something for you.

**greeneyesdilldevil**: Sorry

**momocolady**: hihi, thank you

**bankgeekforlive**: well we have to see about that, don't we?

**jubuggenz**: not discouraged but distracted

**mevneriel**: well this time it's a bit different

**Jemma blackwell:** well here is a good kick in the behind

**kimspirittalks:** that's what I thougt. that way there can be alot of father/son interaction

**dancefreak92**: Thank you!

**blue eyed snape:** I will, but it may take some time

**skimmie**: done

**kayla summers**: I treid to. hope you like it

**shadowed hand:** hihi

**moonrose91**: well, I would like to know what happens next as well, you know ; )

* * *

Severus Snape stood in the dark, arms crossed, his face an unmoving mask. While that in itself was not unusual; the fact that he was standing in the doorway to his son's bedroom, was. The potion master was looking at the sleeping figure and thought about the past decade.

When he saw his son for the very first time, he had been unable to more that just stare. He was so tiny and yet everything was there. From the puffy eyes over his quivering chin to his short fingers. He was perfect. Severus had been glad that it had been over. The birth that was. He had felt so helpless, with his Lily in pain and him being unable to help. Over the next days, his son mostly slept and he was a bit disappointed, but after a week or so, Harry had opened his eyes and looked straight at him. His breath caught and he was rendered speechless by his son's intense stare. After some time he found his voice again: "Hello little one." His son's eyes widened in surprise, but then he had turned his had slightly to the side and fallen asleep. The awestruck man had sat there, holding the infant almost the half night.

A few weeks later, Harry managed to lift his head while lying on his tummy. He did so, saw his daddy and let out an annoyed scream. He preferred being on his back, being able to observe his surroundings. And of course he held his daddy responsible for being unable to do just that at the moment. He reacted with the same annoyance, when he was finally able to sit on his own and somebody tried to make him lie down. Many naps started with Harry sitting among his toys and then falling asleep. Lilly always said that he looked just like Severus, falling asleep at his desk. Her husband only pretended to be offended.

He remembered standing over Harry's crib much in the same way, as he was now. He watched his son sleep, mesmerized by the fact that he and Lily had created such wonder. A baby that would grow up to be an adult. He vowed several times, that he would protect him and do everything in his might to make him happy. Unlike his own parents he would not decide on his son's behalf.

Remembering his past oaths, he almost growled. He had made one mistake and would be paying for it as long as he lived. He had missed so much. He hadn't been there after nightmares, hadn't admired tangled scribbles that were supposed to show god knows what, hadn't been there to take his son to a Quidditch match. In short - hadn't been there to be a father. His mood became even darker, when he realised, that it was more likely that not, that no one else had been there either.

Standing there in the dark, Severus once again regretted every harsh word he ever said to Harry. He made assumptions and acted according to them, even when he was warned that they were not true. He had hurt, where he had sworn to protect. But fate had granted him another chance. Harry had agreed to try and so far things were fine. In the face of the night, the potion master decided to make another vow, regarding his son: he would be a father for him. He would be there to protect, guide and reassure. He knew this chance was his last and he would not mess this up. That he owed to Lily, to Harry and even to himself. He was a Slytherin and Slytherins were survivors. He would make the best out of this mess. And Merlin help the man, trying to cross him!

Severus let his face relax for a moment and he whispered: "Sleep well, little one." With a firm setting of his jaw, he turned around and disappeared in the darkness of their quarters.

He did not turn around and so he missed the sleepy: "G'night Dad.", that was the answer.

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Harry and Severus were sitting in the great hall, eating breakfast when the post owls arrived. Post owl, really. With obvious delight at being the centre of attention, a brown owl dropped a letter in front of the only student present. Harry gave the owl a treat and it took of. A glance at the letter revealed, that it was from Hogwarts. With an annoyed looked towards the headmaster he ripped it open and looked at the book list for the coming year. Seeing nothing that caught his attention he dropped it beside his plate and said to no one in particular: "I should have offered the owl a better treat, al the way down here from the headmaster's office. That must have been exhausting." His father next to him snorted, while Professor McGonagall merely smiled. The headmaster however chose to answer: "All Hogwarts letters are addressed and written magically, Harry. Otherwise I would, of course, have brought it down with me."

Instantly the young wizard's mood darkened and he inquired: "All of them? Even the acceptance ones?"

Confused Dumbledore nodded: "Of course. We never see them unless there is a problem with them."

By now Snape had caught on, what his son was about and his eyes narrowed. He remembered his promise to 'talk' to Albus about his son's living arrangements the last years and he decided that now was as good a time as any. He held up his hand to bring the conversation to a halt and asked in a low voice: "Minerva, would you please excuse us for a while? There is something the headmaster needs to explain." The potion master didn't even bother to make the last part sound less of a threat. McGonagall huffed in annoyance, but gave Dumbledore a questioning look. The twinkle was gone from his eyes when he nodded sadly. Clearly annoyed at being dismissed like an errand student, but knowing better that to argue, the witch stood up and marched out of the hall. She, as well, didn't try to mask her anger and waved the doors shut with a loud bang.

When Severus had brought an abrupt halt to his questions, Harry had leaned back and crossed his arms defiantly. He hadn't relaxed since then and wasn't planning to. Yet, he was happy that his father seemed to be about to give the headmaster a peace of his mind. But he needed to know one more thing: "You never saw my acceptance letter being addressed 'cupboard under the stairs'?"

All of a sudden there were two sets of eyes staring at Harry in disbelieve. His father was the first to recover: "What - precisely - were you doing in a cupboard und the stairs?"

"It was my bedroom at that time."

Harry watched the entire colour drain from his father's face, leaving him even paler than usual. The muscles in his neck were suddenly very prominent and his eyes narrowed. Snape looked ready to murder someone, but for the first time in his life, the image of an outraged potion master did not bother Harry. He knew that all this anger was not directed at him and for once he fully agreed. It didn't had to be like that – he _had_ a father.

Snape slowly turned around to look at the headmaster and just as slowly got up, until he stood with his hand planted on the table. He was clearly trying to keep control of his rage. There he just stared at Dumbledore. It was painfully obvious how he gripped the table in an effort to keep his hands way from his wand. The old wizard looked up at his potion master, still wearing that sad look. How could he even begin to explain? Separating these two was one of the worst mistakes in his life. He began: "Severs, I'm…"

He never got to say what exactly he was, because this was the moment Snape cracked: **"What you **_**are**_** old man is the most irresponsible idiot; I have ever seen! You left a **_**baby**_** on the doorstep of people you never knew! You never checked on him! They beat him, they starved him! How **_**stupid**_** can you get? You sit there, pretending to care and you never checked on him in 13 fucking years? You are the most arrogant, idiotic man I know! And that includes Black!"**

When he finished the great hall fell silent. Snape's breathing was raged. Dumbledore looked from Snape to Harry, who still had his arms crossed: "Do you have to add anything?"

"No," the young wizard answered coolly, "Severus just about covered everything."

The old man nodded and looked at them. He gave a big sigh; and father and son could see tears in his eyes when he said: "You are right. It _is_ my fault that all this time was taken from you. It _is_ my fault that you had to suffer so. I should never have allowed Severus to become a spy. Or at least I should have made sure, you were happy Harry. I will not try to make excuses, for you will not want to hear them. But let me try to explain: I did what I thought best at the time. First I wanted to ensure the safety of many witch and wizards and then yours, Harry. I hope someday you will be able to forgive me." He hung his head looked about ready to cry. One could see that he knew how wrong he had been. He had acted upon his best intentions and things had gone from bad to worse. He was well aware how the interaction between the younger wizards has been for the last two years. And it was his responsibility. Even if all would turn out for the better, these years were lost. The old man sitting in front of his half eaten breakfast looked every year his age. Gone was the strong sense of security, the twinkle in his eyes and the calmness. He was just an old man, confronted with one of his worst errors.

Seeing Dumbledore so beaten, loosened something in Harry's inside and he uncrossed his arms, leaned forward and touched the other's arm. When their gazes locked he said calmly: "We will work on that." The headmaster gave a sad smile and nodded. Then he locked at the father: "Severus?"

After a short pause, Snape nodded; then said: "You will excuse us? My son and I have things to do."

Father and son stood together and walked out of the great hall, passing Professor McGonagall on their way out. They didn't react to her shocked face, but trusted the man they left behind to explain. Still total perplexed the old witch sat in the seat Snape had vacated only seconds before.

"What was that? I could hear somebody yelling all the way up to my office?" she asked.

Dumbledore raised his head to meet her gaze. McGonagall was shocked about the sadness she saw.

"That, Minerva, was Severus Snape, being a father."

* * *

Any idea what should happen next? 

Seriously people I need ideas!


	8. Forgotten dreams

My mother tongue is not English and I'm very tired, so if there are mistakes in spelling or grammer or plot, sue me. Actually - don't, please.

I allready apologized for the long wait and I can not make promises for the next chapter, but you might be happy to hear that I have an idea or two.

* * *

**Potter's Wifey:** Thanks for the first review on the last chapter.  
**Slytherin-Angel44:** That's just the way I imagine him to be.  
**MoonRose91:** Sorry about your ears...  
**Kim:** you will need them  
**bandgeekforlife:** I hope you are still with me  
**LindseySnape:** I prefer parentalSnape, as well. I hope it won't get to fluffy.  
**cmtaylor531:** well here is more need for tissues  
**Jemma Blackwell:** Wow, a great review. thanks. Well here are baby memories and about Sirius, thats for next chapter  
**Kayla Summers:** Next chapter, but no psych talk. Sorry  
**Crystal Cove:** Thanks for reviewing anyway  
**nicky12330:** Glad you do  
**The lady of misfortune:** It will, but I want their realtionship a bit more defined before that happens.  
**asslinerae:** Thank you for your great review. I kind of skipped the coming back to their rooms, but I'm going to shamelessly use your Diagon Alley idea in the next chapter. You got me really thinking about Peter, though...  
**Serpent91:** Not bad, but I'll leave that for later  
**Swrfjackson:** maybe  
**Dalou28:** I don't think they are going to be a family, ever, but you never know  
**Bergerac:** I plan on that, belive me  
**Rainbow Monkey 1993:** Longer chapters, eh? That would mean even more seldom updates. I try though  
**Purplehonour:** Well I guess I will try to stick as close to the original as possible, but obviously some things have to change. We'll see. Thanks for your great review  
**eagelsfreak17:** I don't think there will be HHr and about Peter - such violent thoughts, my,my.  
**CrackJacknPez:** Here it is  
**supergirl3684:** I'm going to continue  
**shiftyless:** Not for a looong time  
**firefly5151:** Well, here are some  
**Queen of jokers:** slavery? you are kidding, right?  
**All american Rejects grl2:** It is.  
**Severus addicted:** your name kind of shows it  
**vanpluv8:** I hope in a good way?

* * *

Severus Snape was dreaming with a smile on his face and tears rolling down his cheeks. He was dreaming of a time that had been lost to him for far too long:

_Little Harry, barely 11 months old, taking his very first steps. He had pulled himself up to standing with the help of the kitchen chair and eyed the cat's food bowl, like said cat was supposed to eye mice. He waved several times in the general direction of the bowl and suddenly chanced the four steeps it took to get there. Severus had been reluctantly cleaning the mess from his darling son's last meal – his darling son, who was obviously to stupid to eat with a spoon, like a normal person; when his little one toddled over to the cat's bowl, like it was the most normal thing in the world. His heart stopped, only to resume beating at the pace of a hyperactive hippogryph. He was frozen in his place and unable to tear his eyes from this wonder. Harry, amazed at his own accomplishment made a surprised noise that sounded like an 'oh!' and promptly fell – bottom first – in the cat's food. Meditating on the subject for a few seconds, he came to the conclusion that he didn't much care for this form of seating arrangement and started crying. Severus mentally shook himself, quickly lifted his little son up in his arms and all but ran (a Snape never runs) into the study room, where Lily was trying to calm down after quarrelling with her husband, about whose turn it was to clean up. _

"_He walked!" Severus exclaimed proudly, swinging the now giggling Harry around, spraying bits of cat food everywhere. "He's not supposed to be able to do that for at least another month or two!" Suddenly his face fell: "Do you think he will be under stimulated in school? Maybe we should look into some kind of special gifted program? Merlin, I don't want the other dunderheads to slow him down…" Lily, whose expression had turned from annoyed, to amazed, to amused during Severus speech, interrupted him before he could wonder if it would be a good idea to buy books and parchment right now and send Harry to school next week: "That's wonderful news, Sev; but why don't we take little Merlin here to bed and see how he goes about using a spoon tomorrow at lunch?" _

_But Severus Snape was in no condition to be deterred: "Maybe the motion is too simple for him and he just can not…"_

The rest of his insanely proud rambling faded out as the scenery of his dream world changed:

_Lily fell into the bed next to Severus and he drowsily lifted his head. "He's asleep." she sighed, tuned over and was so herself. Severus blinked slowly and regarded his wife and mother of his son with a sleepy smile. He sighed himself and pushed up to a sitting position, so he could pull the blanket over her. Then he fell back on his own pillow, ready to go back to sleep. It had been one of _those_ nights: just as they had Harry sleeping through the night, without getting up for another feeding; the boy had to go and start getting teeth. Currently his right molar was coming through and the little one was irritable and cranky during the day – and wide awake at night. They had been taking turns carrying him for hours. Severus tuned his head and watched the women next to him. She was the most beautiful being he had ever seen, even when exhausted. With an inhuman effort he lifted his arm and hugged her. As this was rather uncomfortably he sighed again and snuggled up to her. Burrowing his nose in Lily's neck, sleep claimed him. He slept the sleep of the exhausted for the whole eternity of an hour before an ear piercing scream woke him, again. _

Again the dream changed:

_Harry, tears streaming down his face, was in the hall and trying to open the front door. He wailed pitifully. Severus swallowed a curse and willed himself to calm down. His son wasn't even half his own size and he should be proud of his bravery to stand up to his own father. At the moment though, it made him want to hit something. Preferably something small and loud by the name of Harry – bloody – Snape! Being far too mad to be disgusted with himself for such an impulse, he forced the anger at bay. When he thought he could act reasonably human again he knelt down and as calmly as possible asked his son: "What do you want? I can not understand you and you can certainly not go out on your own." Harry stopped howling for a second and toddled into his father's arms, where he continued to snivel violently and gestured at the front door. Voice and temper raising again Severus asked again: "What – do - you – want?" Finally, the little boy managed to hiccup "Builda! Builda!" while gesturing at the door again. The kneeling man let out a __exasperated breath through his nose, trying to remain calm as he explained (not for the first time this morning), that they could not go out now and watch the builders. Besides- hadn't they been out for a whole hour watching the indescribable boring act of repairing the sidewalk, a mere couple of minutes ago? But Harry, having no time for lunch and a nap right now, continued snivelling. Severus swore he would make Lily go out with their son tomorrow and then _he_ would be able to walk away from the tantrum, when Harry had to come in._

The dream faded, but there was no other coming. Finally Severus sunk into a deep sleep, where no ghosts awaited him and he was able to rest.

SsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssS

Harry Snape was dreaming with a frown on his face and his hands fisted in anger. He was dreaming of a time that had never been:

_Uncle Vernon was telling him that his parents had died in a car crash, because they were unemployed drunks. Harry should be grateful, that his aunt had such a good heart and had decided to take him in. The least he could do was to finish the few chores they set him. They _did_ pay for his clothes and food after all. And it wasn't like people were standing in line to take him in, were they? No, of course not. Because nobody wanted a freak like him and he should really… Harry never heard what he really should, because at that moment a tall man, clad in black, stepped between him and his uncle. Harry felt relieved: he somehow knew this stranger would set everything right. In a deep, strong voice the man spoke: "You are wrong, Dursley! There are a lot of people, who would be happy to take care of Harry." Leaving the fat man struggling for an answer the stranger turned around and knelt down, to bring his face level to Harry's. He smiled gently: "Would you like to come with me? You could have a real bed and a bike. You could eat whenever you are hungry. My house doesn't even have a cupboard under the stairs and there are…"_

The rest of the promises faded and the dream changed:

_For the very fist time Harry stood at the entrance of Diagon Alley – alone. There was nobody there to help him or take care of him. People stopped and openly stared at him. Some even pointed with their fingers. They knew he was not supposed to be here! How could he ever hope to belong? Everything was different and he had no idea where to turn first. The only thing he knew was that he stood out. He was the odd one - even here. Nobody would want a freak among them! There was just no way… Suddenly he felt a warm hand on his shoulder and turning slightly he saw a man clad in dark clothes behind him. He looked up in a face that was turned down to him and held a reassuring smile. "Come Harry. There is nothing to be afraid of – just follow me." The small boy nodded gratefully and followed the black figure into Diagon Alley, were he lost himself _

in yet another dream:

_They were in his father's office and Severus leaned towards him urgently: "The chamber of secrets is not a rumour. There is a large basilisk in there. Do not go there! Promise me!" But before Harry could nod, he was looking down at a motionless Ginny. The basilisk was coming after him and he was running, running away from it. He could not hide, he could not get away! He had to fight, but there was nothing to fight with, so he had to run! Every breath he took burned him from the inside; he would have to stop soon. But he could not, he wasn't allowed to stop! He wasn't even allowed to be here. He had promised! If he could only get to his father, then he could explain! He had to reach _

"SEVERUS!"

Harry sat bolt upright in his bed, still panting. He heard a crash in his father's room and a curse, in a language he didn't recognised. He franticly grabbed his wand from the bedside table, as his panicked eyes flew to the door. He relaxed marginally as Severus flounced into the room, wand lit, eyes alert. He quickly scanned every corner of the room for danger. Of course there was none.

Fully awake now, Harry cringed embarrassed: "I'm sorry I woke you. I only had a bad dream." He ducked his head and self consciously fidgeted with the bedcovers, waiting for the potion master to start berating him. Why did he always have to mess things up? He certainly deserved a talking to. What he heard however was a deep sigh and a rustle of clothes. He chanced locking up and saw to his surprise, that the tall man had sunk into the chair by the door. What now?

As Severus saw that everything was all right and relief flooded his body, he had to sit down. Noticing the look on his son's face though, he became a bit panicked himself even as he made sure that his face betrayed nothing of that emotion. What was he supposed to do? Go there and hug Harry? Surely his son was too old for that. He would not lower himself to plain lying and promise that everything would be all right, either. He took a deep breath. There was nothing for it: "Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked.

Harry slowly shook his head and mumbled: "It was nothing, really. Just some stuff, that doesn't matter any longer." It would be a cold day in hell, before he admitted to the dreams he had had. They would make him look exactly like the spoiled brat, Severus used to believe him to be. And a coward on top of that. He could not risk that. Waking up during the night was not unusual for him, but he rarely screamed. He would be all right.

Severus starred at him for a few seconds, as deep in thought. Then he asked: "Will you be able to sleep, now?"

Harry smiled gratefully to be let of the hook so easily and nodded in affirmative. "Sorry, I woke you. I didn't mean to." he added. He watched as his father slowly got to his feet and made to leave the room. He paused before closing the door and addressed the boy in the bed: "Do not hesitate to wake me, if you need something. Even if you just want to talk about…'stuff'." He waited for Harry to acknowledge that in wonder and then, wishing him a good night, closed the door.

Father and son lay pondering the interruption of their sleep for a long time. Harry couldn't help noticing, that for the first time, that he could remember, somebody had been there in a time of need. Perhaps things _would_ be all right. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Severus couldn't help noticing, that, in a time of need, his son had cried out for him. But then he had been embarrassed about it. Should he have hugged Harry after all? If he could only think of a way to make things right. He fell asleep with a frown on his face.

* * *

So what do you think? I Know that Severus is kind of OOC in this dreams, but as someody pointed out to me: He _did _get the girl in this one.

Please tell me what you think, it really keeps me going.


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